Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Putting My Trust in God...and Not My Paranoia

They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
~ Psalms 112:7, NLT

Ever since my mom passed away over 8 years ago I have been a basket case when it comes to cancer. She fell victim to Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I regrettably never really talked to her about how she came about knowing she had cancer. So I basically imagine every pain, ill or random bump on my body is cancer and I’m going to die. I fear the bad news of getting cancer yet I don’t put my trust in God to live in the present.

Think about how ridiculous this is—just ask my sister, she’ll agree. I focus more on what doctors have said time and time again about what I don’t have. I mentioned my mom has been gone for over 8 years. In those 8 years the Lord gave me time to eat better, become more active, do the things necessary to dynamically avoid being another statistic. Yet, I have not. I have put my trust in laziness and fear.

The enemy takes delight in distracting me from trusting the Lord to care for me. Funny thing is, the Lord HAS cared for me. Unfortunately, my focus has been on the past and not on the blessings of the present. For example:

·         I ran a 3.8 mile St. Patrick’s Day Dash in Seattle on Sunday—my body is healthy enough for that.
·         My middle girl loves to hang out with dad—amazing blessing from such a beautiful heart.
·         My autistic child is thriving in a regular kindergarten class and received a citizenship award today—a milestone for this boy.
·         My littlest girl continues to grow and her own pace—being diagnosed with failure to thrive hasn’t stopped her from having fun.
·         My oldest boy is very kind to everyone who crosses his path—kids want to be around him because he is his own person and not a copy-cat wannabe.
·         My oldest daughter is blossoming into a fine performing artist—her stories entrance me and her stage presence is electrifying.
·         My wife received her full childcare license in the mail today—her hard work and faithfulness to trust in God made this happen.

It is this realization of the blessings of my life that I need to trust in the Lord and that what storms may come, He will care for me.

There is a passage from the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 6 that has been penetrating my heart as of late:

26 Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. 27 “Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? 28 All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, 29 but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. 30 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? 31 What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving.

The Father takes care of the least of these things, how much more will He take care of His children. I desire to no longer fear, but trust that God will take care of my needs—just like he faithfully has for over 35 years.


Sharon said...

Once you have witnessed death from cancer it is easy to fear it...I know. You know I lost both my parents to it, my grandma, and now my cousin has been told she has 6-12 months to live. I also know that you cannot live your life in fear. I love what you said about finding ways to focus on the good. That is what I have also tried to do in my life.

I am not Catholic but I have appreciate living through your daily passages as you go through Lent. :)

I'm always here for you my friend!

Rory said...

Thanks for the encouragement Sharon. I hope my ramblings can make a difference in someone's life. :-)