Thursday, April 14, 2011

I've Said a Dumb Thing a Time or Two

Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal.
~ Proverbs 12:18

There was a time in my marriage when I was more of an idiot. Guess you could call it our “breaking in” period. I had to learn the hard lesson of how words can hurt—even if my intentions were for good, the meaning hurt more.

I remember one time I made a comment about my wife’s appearance. My little brain-dead mind thought I was pointing out something that could be easily “fixed”. To her, I just shot her through the heart. BUT I WAS TRYING TO HELP!!! Didn’t matter, my thoughtless words cut her deep.

Too many times I have done this same exact thing; either at work, in a social setting, in front of family, you name the place and I’ve said something stupid. Fortunately, as time has gone on I have come to realize that my words can be very powerful instruments. Today I try to teach my kids while carefully choosing my words—especially when it is a disciplinary moment.

When my kids do something stupid, I find it is important to tell them what they DID was stupid but that they are smarter than that. I focus on the action and not on the person. I see it in their eyes. I know that they are upset at their actions. I can tell later on that they believe they are better than that.

Imagine if we all, including yours truly, spent more time focused on the actions that people did and addressed those versus attacking the person for making a dumb choice?! With patience and kind words, there would be much more healing in this world.

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