There is a song by Thousand Foot Krutch called "So Far Gone" off their album The End is Where We Begin. It moves me....not like I have ever experienced before.
To begin with I am a total sucker for praise and worship music and the guitar and drums in this song gives the message that feeling. In the first verse the author shares:
"Because I've never felt stronger than when you're with meI am a sinful man. I have been to confession on average every other week this year. Whenever I get comfortable and over-confident in myself, I have allowed Satan and his demons back into my life. Almost like clockwork I fall into sin again and feel like garbage. That is the enemy's trick, but there is reconciliation in Christ. When I go to confession and share with the priest my sins I can feel Christ holding me. Just like when one of my children fail and I show them discipline and love, so does Christ. With Christ I never feel stronger.
Sometimes I wonder why you even care
Because when I leave you're always there with me"
The chorus of this song has brought me to tears quite a few times:
"I want to be so far gone in youSo far nothing else will ever doI want to be so far gone in youIn you"As my relationship with Christ has grown and strengthened through reconciliation and prayer so has my desire to get lost in Him. I thought I understood what it was like to be lost in Christ. It wasn't until I fell on my knees and made a conscience decision to take my faith seriously, did I truly understand what joy it is to be "so far gone" in Christ. The decision meant I had to give Christ my all.....not just Sunday mornings. It has not been easy. This world won't let it be easy. To be "so far gone" in Christ is ridiculous, but if that is what the world says then count me as a fool for Christ.
One final blessing I would like to share comes out of the second verse:
"Sometimes I cry because I can't believeGod's love for me is beyond measure. Think about that--because I have--He loves us SO much that we can't begin to measure it! I can measure the love I have for my wife and my children. To think God loves me even more than that blows me away.
Your love is big enough to cover me
Sometimes I've wondered if you even cared
But when I'm far away you meet me there"
It makes me cry.
Even in those moments when I sin, the same sin that nailed Jesus to the cross, it's not God who has left me. I am the one who has embraced sin and veered far off the path of righteousness. However, the thing about grace is that Christ is right there to surround me with His love and get me back on the path. I never have to go looking for God, He's patiently waiting to embrace me back into His arms.
It is my heart's cry to be "so far gone" in Christ that the things of this world hold no power over me. I now know this will encompass the rest of my life on this planet. I have often wondered how people truly give up their lives to Christ....between the teachings of the holy Catholic church and faithful musicians like Thousand Foot Krutch I understand the cost. To be "so far gone" in Christ is to be fully committed to a greater good and a higher love.